A little late!

My new years post is far too late. But that is just how our life seems to be with two little ones. Never on time and always crazy.

2012 Finds me in need of a good pedicure, a hair cut and a full nights sleep. All of which will probably not happen anytime soon. Im learning to be content with a house that is not always clean and a pile of laundry that always gets bigger. My new years resolutions include spending more quality time with my boys and making time to give my husband a daily back rub. Nothing too life changing, but definitely important to me.

2011 was a beautiful year but very hectic. After graduation nursing school and welcoming our second son a month later we didn't have much time to relax. I fear relaxation may not be in our vocabulary for quite a few years (im thinking maybe 15 or so :) Our lives do not lack in excitement though. I am love being a stay at home mommy for the time being. I am not sure where i will be as far as work is concerned. For now I am enjoying where the Lord has placed me, and that is at home with my two adorable babies. Brandon is continuing his residency and working hard like always. We are so proud of his positive attitude and for all he does for our family.

My boys are growing too fast. Parker never ceases to amaze me with his technology abilities and his outgoing daddy-like personality. This kid is just like Brandon (we also like to think he gets it from his Papa Slockbower) He loves to "talk" to everyone he sees. We will be in a restaurant and he will walk by each table and say hi to the people sitting at them.His vocabulary is expanding daily and I love to hear his cute voice wake me up in the morning. He loves loves loves his little brother and makes sure i know when Jake is crying. He brings him toys and loves to give him kisses. They really do melt my heart.

Our little Jake "GiGi" as Parker calls him, is 7 months old! wow. Slow down kid. he loves to army crawl anywhere and everywhere. He likes to hunt out shoes and chew on them, yuck! He has a huge vocabulary of mamama dadada yayaya haha. If hes not squealing in delight you will find him blowing raspberries, or chewing on the closest object to him. We think he is teething but still no sign of any teeth. Which, I of course, am very fine with. nursing and teeth didn't always mix for Parker and I :) He has grown so far to look just like his daddy with some beautiful blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. I love watching him grow every day and seeing all of the little changes in him.

We are SO looking forward to our trip to California in February. In fact we are counting down the days(only 25 left) We cant wait to see Brandons family, a few friends, and get the cousins together to play! Parker and his cousin Thomas are 4 months a part, so we have high hopes for a close friendship between them! I couldn't be more excited to hang out with my sister in Law, Mother in law, and my best friend. I miss them so much every day. I feel so blessed to have the kind of in laws that people dream of. They are such a great family!

We are looking forward to this year and the possibilities it holds. This will most likely be our last full year in NC so we are going to try to enjoy every minute of it and every amazing friendship we have developed here. We are optimistic that by this time next year Brandon will have a job lined up. So excited to see where this year leads!

Happy New Year to everyone!! (even if it is a little late)

5 months post baby!

I decided i need to go to the gym more. Not just to lose weight but to feel better. I have 0 energy lately and i know that is one of the reasons why. I am 5 months post Jake and while i dont feel awful, i definitely have some pudge id light to tighten up here and there. When i Got pregnant with Jake, I had just gotten to a point where i was finally comfortable with my body again. So i know it will take time, but i figure if I blog about it I will have more accountability. So when I got pregnant I was 122ish. Right before i had Jake i weighed in around 150 depending on the day. Im now at 127.4 and my goal is to get somewhere around 120. So I am officially on my way to my goal!

Deep Breath

Two kids. Two babies. Two in diapers. Before i continue, let me start by saying how incredibly blessed i feel to have two amazingly adorable and unique in their own way babies. I think about how much I love them all the time, I think about their differences and their similarities and how much fun it is to see them grow. But it has been hard. Jake has been a tough baby. He cried for a good part of his first four months of life. He cried during the day, he cried at night. He cried in the car, and when i held him. He just cried. I don't write this to scare anyone who is having two, for many people i know, two was a piece of cake. Im pretty laid back so i tried to just take one day at a time, but looking back Im amazed that i didn't break down in tears because their was many times i wanted to. Parker had a good set of fits there for awhile but Im amazed that in the last few days how much things have calmed down. Jake has barely cried and Parker has been so happy. Im beginning to enjoy my time with them more. Instead of crying, I can actually see Jakes personality come through. He has been so laid back lately which makes me think he was either in pain from reflux, or overtired all the time. Either way I think Im starting to get the hang of things and i am thoroughly loving being a mom to my two sweet boys.

I have got to talk about Parker for a little bit, because this kid is so one of a kind. He is constantly making me laugh and he always knows how to make a bad day, better.This kid has the most ridiculously adorable smile, its so hard to get upset with him. He loves to play on my iphone I'm pretty sure he thinks he owns it because when i try to take it away he says "goooo" and shoos me away. ha! i put my foot down on that one. He loves his daddy more than anything and always looks out the window to see if he is home. He has just recently started talking a ton! he is going to be quite the chatter box. He loves his Jakey and always gives him kisses, that is, when he's not trying to wrestle him down.He loved trick or treating and he picked it up so quickly! Im not sure what to expect with two boys, but i know it will be fun!

Everyone always asks us if we are going to try for a girl. Well yes and no. We want a third- NOT ANYTIME SOON! but eventually yes. And while I would love a girl, Its obviously not our choice. So if we end up with three boys, well then bring on the match box cars and action figures! I cant see myself with more than three kids, so the next will most likely be the last, girl or not :)

I find myself struggling with whether I should start looking for nursing jobs in the near future. I am so torn, i feel like i fight with myself every day about it. I worked so hard to finish nursing school, and i love it. But i Love my boys and I love that i have time to cook and clean for my husband. I am hoping to compromise and look for something part time, but thats hard to find for a new grad. Im hoping it all works itself out.

We are going to make a visit to California in February, which i am SO excited about! We cant wait to see family and just spend some time away for a little bit. Hopefully this blog tied up the loose end since I havent had time to write for awhile. Now that i actually have some time to myself at night maybe ill find more time to blog!

Mom

Selfless. The one word that perfectly described her. When I was five years old and got the stomach flu, she laid me in her bed and gave me a bell. She told me to ring for her whenever i needed her. She waited on me hand and foot for those few days. When i became a cheerleader she would stay up until midnight putting curlers in my hair, even though i forgot i needed to curl my hair until the last minute. She didn't complain.There were numerous times when I would forget my homework. Minutes after remembering, i would see her white van pull up. There she was again, saving the day. I went to camp every summer, when i came home my room would be spotless and organized. We had a paper route when we were younger, she woke up at 3:30 am every morning to fold the papers for our route. She didn't ask us for anything in return. She went without, most of her life, just so My brother and I could have what we needed. I remember praying every night that the Lord would keep my mom safe. I needed her. She was my everything. I was lucky enough to have her in my life until shortly after i graduated high school.

I dont talk about her often, but I think about her everyday. I find it difficult to console those who seem to feel sorry for me. I felt sorry for myself long enough. Now i just like to remember the wonderful person that made up my mother. She met Brandon before she passed away. That is something I am grateful for everyday. She loved him. She knew I loved him, too . She told me that she could see it in my eyes. My mom didn't make statements like that often, so i knew she was being sincere. I only wish she was able to be at my wedding. We talked about planning it my whole life, it wasn't as fun without her. But I did it. I know a lot of things in my life weren't as fun and wont be as fun as they would be if she was here. Time has gone by and I find comfort in knowing that she would be proud of the person i am becoming. She would love Parker and Jake. She would have been a great grandmother. She always found little ways to make me smile, I cant wait to do the same for my babies. She was incredibly thoughtful. Im excited to tell them stories about her, and show them her pictures. They have to know about the woman who helped shape me into the person that is their mother. I still find a part of me feels missing without her, but somehow i think that will continue until we meet again. She had a strength that i have yet to see in anyone else. I hope one day i find that strength.

It will be 5 years since my mom passed away and of course that day is etched in my mind. I always felt too young. I was only 19 when she died. It didn't seem fair. But its not about fair.I have a few friends who have recently lost their moms. I hurt for them as i know the pain they feel. Days go buy, then years, and the pain lingers although it has lost its sting. Memories of that time return and I can only try to console, but i know that only time takes that sting away. Im reminded that this world is not our home, and look forward to the day when pain is no more and I get to see her again. "He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever".- Revelation 21:4 I think about that day often. I think about my mom often. Miss you mom.

2 Years Old

Brandon and I always wanted kids. We got married when I was 20 and he was 23, so we figured we would wait awhile to bring kids into the mix. God had other plans. We were only married a year and a half when we found out I was pregnant with Parker. I still remember that day so clearly. It was new years day. I woke up feeling, well different, is the only way i can describe it. I had always thought I was pregnant the first year of our marriage even though I never was so when I told Brandon I wanted to take a test, he kind of laughed at me. But being the agreeable guy he is he went along with it. We were staying at his sisters house for christmas so we told them we were going to jamba juice, and instead went and bought a test. I didn't want to take the test at his sisters house so we went to Jamba juice and i took it there! I remember seeing the faintest line and i thought it might have been positive but i wasn't sure. I walked out and told Brandon we had to go back and buy an "expensive" test and try again. So we bought the digital test that tells you yes or no. That one i took in the target bathroom (i was too anxious to wait) and of course it was positive. I cried. I know that sounds horrible, but its the truth. Of course deep down I was so excited, but I had just found out I had gotten in to nursing school, and i started in 10 days. It was a three year program so i knew i was going to have to go through a lot of nursing school with a baby. I am so grateful that Gods plans are better than my own because I am so in love with my little Parker, that I would trade a million dreams just to have him in my life.

Parker is two tomorrow and i cant believe how grown up he has become. He has such a sweet heart and a smile that just lights up a room. I always tell Brandon I think he has his personality because he is so good at making us laugh. Lately he looks at me with his big blue eyes, says "up" and i know that means he wants to cuddle. He loves to play outside and some days he spends all day just wandering around outside. When we ride in the car, he reaches for me so i will hold his hand and sometimes i will ride with my arm stretched back, holding his, for the entire car ride. He is such a good big brother to Jake, he pats his back when he's crying, lays down with him on his blanket, and gives him kisses when ever he sees him. I am so proud of Parker, and so glad that God decided to give him to us when he did. I cant wait to watch him grow up. I cant wait to see him become the man God wants him to be. Happy Birthday big guy!

Happy 2 months

Jake is 2 months old. Time is flying! We are so glad to have this sweet baby boy in our lives!

4 Years!

We celebrated 4 years of married life on July 21! It has been a great 4 years and we were able to celebrate by going to dinner just us, and tomorrow we are going zip lining, so excited! When we were at dinner we talked about major events that have happened in the last 4 years and this is what we came up with.

1st year
- Brandon was in his 2nd year of medical school and we were married the summer before he started, we lived in a one bedroom apartment with our dog Dakota. Life was pretty sweet.
- I remember our first year and how sensitive i was, im sure this caused all of our first year of marriage brawls :) but im much more tough now and way less sensitive haha.

2nd year
- Brandon started his third year of medical school and took his first set of medical boards. That was a very stressful time!
-Charley entered our lives ;) Of course that foreshadowed......
- We found out after being married for a year and a half that we would be expecting our first baby boy. What a surprise that was!!
-WE moved to another apartment- and then in to a house before Parker was born, needless to say we hate moving now.
- I started nursing school at Cal State San Bernardino.
-Parker was born- one of the best days of our lives!

3rd Year
-Brandon started his final year of medical school, i continued with nursing school.
-Brandon went on about 10 interviews for residency, most of them were out of state. We were able to visit boston together and Minnesota.
-Found out Brandon matched at East Carolina University in North Carolina!
-Bought a House
-Brandon graduated medical school.
-We moved across the country!!! (left a bunch of really amazing friends and family :( )
-We took a vacation in Washington DC
-Brandon started his intern year of residency as a Emergency Medicine Physician
-I started nursing school at a new school!

4th year
-Parker turned 1!
- We found out we were expecting our second baby boy!
-Spent our first christmas ever without family.
-I graduated nursing school
- Found a really great church. and met a bunch of really cool people
-Brandon finished his first year of residency and started his second!
- Jake was born- another best day of our lives :)


We have grown so much as a couple in the last 4 years. Of course no marriage is perfect, and we are no exception, but we have definitely learned to communicate better and we are both better people for it. Im in love with my husband and proud of who is he and who he has helped me to become. I really cant wait to see what the years ahead will bring!